Why not reflect upon work in the cultural/commercial field from time to time?
1) You see, with the towns quite broke, decisions made about large companies whereever and Brussels and Berlin seeming to be just about declaring the Ruhr Area some sort of experimental danger zone, I could not resist thinking a little bit about where all this work in the cultural/pop/media biz may lead us.
I was surprised to find that - in a town where the RWE (energy, ressources, etc.), for example, is in big trouble itself - so unbelievably much dependes upon sponsors to keep at least the surface of a cultural life going. A life not ruled by "football, fucking, television", as we used to say. Okay, the (not) working class has computers now, but the football club in town is a drag and people are keen and crazy - and almost nobody admits to being poor AND unwilling to submit to the mechanisms of a brutalized and brutalizing process, during which people either obey to survive (and keep their face among their kind) or have to struggle very hard to keep self-respect, solidarity and autonomy half-way intact. Nice move that the puppets rarely wear uniforms these days.
Globalization. Struggle for ressources. 21st century. We had heard about that. Everybody better look for themselves because there is no safe job anymore! Yeah, maybe that's better than depending upon money from some foot soldiers of out-crazed global players or neo-national blut-and-boden-heinis. But then you can see so many people who would almost do anything to keep their jobs, their "standards", their make-up. Not so long ago it was said that there would be a "cultural hegemony" of the left in Germany. How can this be a culture where they sell themselves as cheap as possible before somebody else gets the peanut? No. Again: Apart from the usual vague (national-"revolutionary") ideal that there may be an emergency case during which the state has to take control of the nationwide production - which has never been "left", especially after 1933 - I can't see anything that may lead me to believe that any of the political trends of the last 30 years led to a cultural hegemony of what left ever.
Animal rights, polyamoury, vegans, bikers, the usual distinctions via media... That's all entertainment for the crowd - and mainly a way to keep things and people under control. And how they pay - and how willing they are to work for almost nothing if they believe in something or feel which inner force ever making them do things that people in "less civilized" areas of the world can't even imagine to do if on hard drugs. This is not your early 20th century control, stupid! This is very different. Everybody's happy nowadays.
But if everybody actually can't be happy nowadays? Yes, it is getting quite rude over here. (And aggressive towards other countries, lifestyles, etc.) As if all these means to control people now make perfect sense, because otherwise there would be riots and/or dissidents en masse. People are stuck in their tracks, their highly individualized traps. And I can't see that the people who are getting jobs in the cultural field are getting these because anybody is concerned about culture or a civilized society. There seem to be other reasons why people are allowed to do things. There have always been preferences by political parties and companies and whoever, like: Let him or her do this, he or she is easy to handle or a friend or ex-lover of some son of a grandsigneur. Poverty and greed do not change anything about this system, of course. It's just getting uglier and uglier. I am glad I have found some people I can work with which are different. I guess.
Now I have to laugh a bit, because I just thought that I am still a "content" person. (While I am listening to Gang of Four.) Means that when working or dealing with persons generally, I think about an outcome that may make sense in a cultural, social and maybe even political way. I mean: I do this myself and I look for people who can do this, too. So we combine forces and ideas and have a result of our own. Most people who want you to work for them or "deal with them" don't want this. I mean: Is it all about some sort of contracts these days really? Plus people are more and more used to being prosumers, the meat in the soup of some software. I almost can't find any job anymore that requires creative talent! And in my private life: Should I just fit into a "plan", a "scheme", be as one dimensional (plus a bit funny) as possible, so that I don't appear too complicated aka human? Everybody just loooves robots - and androids - nowadays around here, it seems. Function. Necessities. Simple solutions. Autobahns of thought and emotion.
I better go out now. I have to be part of another real life role playing game that needs a very flat character to work out fine. It's dull. But I earn some money with that. Will have to compensate for that later. Not via cheap, commercial culture, though. I have a reputation for being not that easily thrown over by the pigs.
Heard a rumour about a EU-project called "Adopt an Alien". Does it mean there are more of us?
2) Wasn't I meant to write less this month? Yes, but I couldn't stop until about the 9th of April. That's until when all entries of this month were written.
3) I have been thinking a bit about people taking drugs to fulfil their ambitions, feel "fit" or simply to stand up to a certain pressure or the other. I want to live without all that. But then I have been working in the entertainment biz for some time, and even some people I have seen much more often than others or I have worked closer with than with others obviously still have drug problems. And/or psychic troubles. I don't really know about these, because I am an "outsider" concerning this now more than ever. And they won't show it to me. And others won't tell me about it, normally. How could one say "I don't want to work with him/her, because her/his addiction is ruining my (mental) health."? As they are burning out people more and more everywhere, they will always prefer the addicts - for some time - or not? Like teenage models. Conclusion? If you are young and cheap, you lose a lot very early. And then you have to pretend it's fun, well, forever.
I remember how I explored certain scenes without getting in too deep - I thought. Now I feel very trapped in other people's behaviour, schemes and clichés. My freedom seems to end where their freedom is desperate to prove itself. I have been thinking and writing about poverty (concerning money). These days I can remember very well what it was like when I was poor concerning sensitivity, taste and caution. Not that I have changed that much... I have not been able to get away from that and these people enough yet for my taste. And it keeps making me ill. Again. Somebody gave me a wink at the end of last year and said that sometimes you can stay at the same place and leave certain things behind, too. Now it's almost a year now that I am back at the same place. And I still feel sucked (in again) - mainly by suckers, of course. (Wire have been on drugs there, haven't they?)